Sir Real

Headmaster

Sir Trombonious Bebop Real, The Sixth, servant of her royal highness Queen Pegasus The Tenth, is the headmaster of Unicorn High. While fighting in the Elemental Wars, Sir Real was knighted for performing the first Cosmic Supernova (now commonly known as the “SuperReal”) and defeating the evil race of unicorn hunters known as The Schwag. After retiring from military service, Sir Real returned to his beloved stables at Unicorn High as Headmaster.

Prince
Albert

Botany & Horticulture

A seventh generation Bonghousen from the esteemed royal family of unicorns, Prince Albert Dabtholomeux Stankoweetz Bonghousen is the newest tenured professor at Unicorn High. Prince Albert leads our studies in botany and horticulture. His coursework includes hydroponics, strain development, cloning, harvesting, and he leads our annual Oaxacan Pollen Retreat. When Prince Albert is not in class he enjoys bit-ram yoga and hacky sack. A certified “green hoof,” Prince Albert also supervises all horticultural initiatives at the grand gardens of Marley Quadrangle and the famous Hazy Fields of Marin Farm.

Dr.
Shenanigans

Combustion Studies

Dr. Howard Hasheesh Chillum Shenanigans is the dean of Unicorn High’s School of Combustion Studies. A master of thermodynamics, Dr. Shenanigans holds multiple patents including the Anti-Gravity Bong, the Cold Fusion Dab Rig, and the Sub-Quark Percolator.

Professor
Puffantoke

Brain Chemistry

Recipient of the esteemed Endogenous Cannabinoid Research Grant, and fellow at the Terence McKenna Institute, Unicorn High’s resident Neurobiologist Eureka Ephemera Puffantoke chairs the Brain Chemistry Studies division. Professor Puffantoke’s curriculum includes Neurochemistry, Fractal Consciousness, Psilocybin Evolutionary Theory, Serotonin Neurotransmitter Cloaking Devices, Many-Worlds Physical Education, and Macro-Teleportation.